‘Real Housewives of Potomac’ star Wendy Osefo talks turning 40 — and whether she enjoyed her birthday

Upon turning 40, “Real Housewives of Potomac” star Dr. Wendy Osefo is prioritizing her own happiness and being a source of happiness for those around her. So, it may surprise some to know that she actually spent her milestone birthday filming a girls’ trip for the show’s ninth season.

In the latest episode, the ladies head to Queen City, otherwise known as Charlotte, North Carolina, to celebrate Osefo and break in the new crop of faces who have joined the cast this season. Things get off to an interesting start after a quick and expected squabble about rooms in the ladies’ lake house, and a few begin to air their grievances with one another.

While viewers will have to wait until Sunday to see how the rest of the trip goes, Osefo sat down with theGrio to discuss turning 40, the current season, and whether she really got to enjoy her birthday trip.

“Well, you know, with these ladies, it’s always something with them,” Osefo said, adding, “But overall, I had such a good time.”

The wife and mother of three said filming took place on her actual birthday, May 21, and that it was the first time she spent her birthday away from her loved ones.

“We got to Charlotte the day before my birthday,” she continued. “So the next episode you guys see, starting that morning, it’s my actual birthday. And so I spent my 40th birthday with these ladies. Talk about growth, right?”

With five seasons under her belt, growth for Osefo hasn’t just come with her well-earned veteran status on RHOP. Turning 40 and arriving at this point in her life has also brought its share of evolution.

When the world first met Osefo in 2020 during her debut season, she was a professor at Johns Hopkins University and a political commentator. In the years since, while she resigned as a professor to spend more time with her family, her status as a multihyphenate has only grown. Osefo can now include talk show host, home decor brand founder, and author to her growing list of accomplishments.

“I’m just in such a good place,” she said of turning 40.

“For me, [my 40s are] about being unapologetically you, she told theGrio. “Not having to bend or shrink to fit into other people’s expectations, but being who you are, the way you want to be, and not only doing it for yourself but doing it for others. Shedding light and love on other people’s lives.”

She noted how she believes everybody has the ability to “transmit not just energy to ourselves but to other people.”

“And so 40, for me, is about not only being happy but making sure I’m a source of happiness for those around me,” added Osefo, who has earned the nickname “Zen Wen” on the show.

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Of course, the onscreen trip isn’t the only way Osefo marked her 40th. Later in the season, viewers will get to see her 40th birthday bash; on social media, she also revealed an epic family trip to Paris, France.

According to Osefo, getting to this point in life has involved learning how to balance pursuing multiple dreams while extending necessary grace to herself.

“I’ve realized that you have to juggle, but you also have to know that not every day will be your best day in a particular field,” she explained.

The author continued, “Some days, I do awesome in motherhood. I’m doing the homework. I chaperone field trips. I’m cooking dinner. I’m like, ‘Wow, you’re really killing it in motherhood.’ But then I check my inbox and I have, like, over 100 unread emails, and I’ve learned just to give myself grace.”

She added, “I think we should all learn that if you’re juggling multiple things, there’s going to be days where you excel in one area more than others, and that’s OK. It’s all about balance.”

Another area of life in which Osefo is finding balance is navigating having a public profile at a time when Black women have increased visibility — and scrutiny.

“I think that right now, it’s such a beautiful and inspiring time,” she said, adding, “I can’t underscore the word ‘inspiring’ enough. Such an inspiring time to be a woman and a Black woman. It’s almost like we have waited for so long for these types of moments for us to really be at the forefront of change. Because the truth of the matter is, historically, we have always been there. We just haven’t been given the credit for our participation in being there.”

Osefo said viewers are in for some major “twists and turns” this season.

“One day, you’ll be like, ‘Oh, they’re getting along. It just seems so light and airy.’ And then, out of nowhere, someone throws a curve ball and brings up some rumor,” she revealed, adding. “It’s just a continuous roller coaster ride.”

Discussing the conflict that can brew from season to season, Osefo said after five seasons, she’s learned not to take it personally.

“The truth is, I didn’t know this my first year, I’ll be honest with you. It’s something you have to learn. You can’t take it personally,” she stressed.

Thankfully, turning 40 has given Osefo greater insight into how to handle conflict on the show — and in life.

“I’m in this era of being 40 and turning over a new leaf and absolutely just having a new outlook on life,” she noted. “I really believe that we are all here to be great, and we are all here to enjoy. We were not put on this earth to be miserable and to be unhappy. So if anyone or anything messes with your happiness, then you have to excuse yourself from those situations.”

Ultimately, Osefo said she’s thankful to her personal community for helping her rise above any unnecessary drama.

“I just try to stay grounded with my family,” she said, adding, “I think when you surround yourself with people who know the real you, then it really doesn’t matter if you know what someone else who doesn’t even know you thinks about you.”